A Blank Entry

THIS IS A TRIBUTE TO MY FORMER SCOUT MASTER WHO PASSED AWAY.

Good Bye Scout Master. Good Bye Sir Velas...

Anti-Socialism

Anti-Socialism

I was waiting for 5:30 pm by the Kostka benches with two of my friends when someone approached us and was selling us a copy of KATIPUNAN. There was nothing offensive with the approach, and then she started asking us if we knew what the KATIPUNAN was and I answered that I knew it to be “a branch off” from the Guidon. I knew she was offended, and she replied by telling us that they are a completely independent organization. And then she offered us a copy of the magazine for us to browse, for some reason I did not browse the magazine. I just didn’t feel interested about it although I tried to redeem myself afterwards by asking them about their sponsors.

After the lady went away I just realized how rude I’ve been. And then I went to the library and saw some of my friends. I sat with them and relate to them what had happened. I asked them if I was rude, and they said “YES!” I was really bothered that I was rude to the lady a while ago, but I cannot turn back time and even if I can what would I do?

“Socially inept” (copyright@Enzoperez) that’s what my friends said that I was; and I had my time of reflecting and the more I thought about the incident, the more I found it convincing that I was socially inept.

Why is it that I was making a big issue out of this? Why was I putting this in my blog? Probably I felt guilty about the way I acted, and probably because I have offended another individual. Not only that, but this individual was a kindred soul; fighting for idealism they believe in. And what will I be when I start fighting for my own idealisms; will I get the same indifference that I showed her? It sounds like I care more about what will happen to me rather than caring about how I offended her. But I am conscious of what I did, and I am terribly sorry that I did it. I am terribly sorry for my indifference and rudeness.

Probably I have to educate myself about social etiquettes. Should it come out naturally, as when one person is expected to behave in a pleasing manner as the other expects him/her to be? If it should then I cannot understand how I deviate from that natural order. I don’t want to blame anyone that I have been raised this way and nor do I want to justify my actions. I have always wanted to be pleasing, and I have imitated a lot of people, most especially my good friend, and tried as hard as I could to be pleasing, to learn how to be socially acceptable. Not that I am not accepted in my social circles, but it is the instances like the one that I related to you which made me realize that all I have been doing was calculating another person’s attitude and relate to him/her somehow.

For me, it was not as natural as it would be for some people. Does it really matter that I learn? Does it really matter that I was rude? Probably to me it won’t, but to the persons I interact with, it probably does.

I’m sorry that I have been rude to you.

As for my social ineptitude, I would just hope that in my later encounters with other people, I would avoid making the same “mistake” that I did. Maybe this was simply teaching me a lesson, something I can’t read in text books, but something you’ll learn from not reading a magazine, offered by a young lady whom you offended because she was just fighting for her ideals.