The morality of moving on

I don't usually pour my heart out to a blog as public as this, neither do I pour my heart out to anything. I am a bit cold as some people noted and I believe myself a graduate of this self-pitying habit; crying about oneself for his miseries as if the world does not understand him and that he is alone braving the hardships to come.

The above lines are not as unfamiliar as many would think. In their desolation they could have said exactly the same thing, and if not, probably thought about it. The thing is, people always feel sad at certain points in their lives that a simple pat on the shoudler or even a warm and affectionate embrace would not solve. It is not a feeling isolated only to an unfortunately select few, it is something that all of us have to endure. But why do I have to explain all this? Why now?

Something happened. Something happened on the supposedly the happiest season of the year that upset everyone. This year's Christmas is not as happy as it should be. Not that I'm expecting my Christmas to be happy, I never expected that. I expected my Christmas to be boring. But, as it tunred out, my Christmas was "depressing," "sad" if you don't get it. Don't ask me, even I don't know why. Strange, isn't it? You'd think that the person him/herself would know exactly the reason for what he/she is feeling. But in this case, no.

To my surprise (actually I was too sad to be surprised, I was probably more amazed and curious and very interested than surprised), I was not the only one feeling the same thing. Most of the people I encountered was not as jubilant as they were supposed to be, or as they were a year ago. What was wrong? Had Santa forgotten to sprinkle a little Yuletide joy on every house his raindeers passed? It will take a lot of time before we find the answer, and probably by that time, it wouldn't matter anymore. Or maybe we really just don't have to answer that question; the perpetual "WHY?" This is what my Philosopy Professor would call Gelassenheit (Letting be, letting go). Hayaang mag-meron ang meron.

That kind of takes the purpose of life away doesn't it. Fr. Ferriols and his baby Professors, together with the disciples of Heidegger would beg to differ. At least, that's what I think. So what then is a person to do if he/she feels sad? Wallow in self-pity, in his/her own sadness? A person must experience life, that's true, and he/she must be able to endure what life throws at him/her. But that doesn't mean that he/she should pause and get stuck experiencing only that fact of life because he/she is too cowardly to move on. If indeed we are to experience what it is that we want to experience, then move forth! Sure, cry over what's lost but be sure to stand back up and continue with life's journey. (I'm losing it, aren't I? I sound like an life experienced, angst driven teenager. I should stop here and return to normalcy).

And so now, I just found what I have written above as pointless. Since I was shying away from explaining every statement that needs explanation, and since I have abruptly ended with a confession that this is becoming absurd and too much a statement of a drama King, oh and reason caught up with me.

Reason, yes reason. To cry over your own sad life is pathetic, much worse, idiotic. It's too selfish you forget that you are in a lot of ways connected to different people. And forgetting that you are connected to other people is one way of shrugging away your responsibility towards them who needs you.

I find myself, often times, terribly conflicted between helping someone and leeting them be. I always tell myself that I could not help them. Let's put it this way; imagine a street child begging for alms on the, well, street. You have like only an exact change you need to commute. You really wanted to help them but you can't. How then would you help them? Some people would say, go back the next day and give him/her some money. Or buy him/her lunch. The wiser persons would say, let him/her be. If we give him/her alms then he/she'll be totally dependent on the sympathy if not pity of passersby. And we would have condemned him/her to that life forever. The rational solution was, teach him/her to work.

Now the question is, who would have the luxury of time to do so. So else would do it if not you who encounters him/her everyday. Who else would do it?

Our discussion therefore have brought us to the question of morality. should not a person care for another? But how would he/she take care of another if he/she cannot take care of him/herself? If that person is totally depressed then how could he/she help another human being? Difficult isn't it? But there will be times when we would be called to the that extraordinary good at the lowest point of our lives. It's a matter of choosing to do what is good over what is easy.

I am not, of course, saying that you don't have the right to feel sad about yourself when so many others are suffering far worse than you. But I am saying this; cry if you must, but move on after a while because many other people need you too. You are not here in this world for yourself alone, you are also here for others.

It is not immoral for a person to cry, but it is immoral for him/her to cry for the rest of his/her life, leaving those who needed him/her to suffer, die, perish, and be forgotten.